If you read the news, have friends in, or you yourself are a member of the trans community, you’ll find there is a sense of uncertainty and turmoil occurring right now. Trans members of the US military have been told they are not allowed to serve. And while we won’t debate policy at this time (simply put, from our perspective it’s wrong), we feel it important to reach out to members of our community that may be impacted.
Good Fur News got the chance to talk to one such community member who has been in the fandom for almost 10 years, Kuhori Wolf.
Kuhori is known for their Fursuit Vlog Fursuiter’s World and Blog Kuhori and Grave’s Fursuiting Adventures.
In an Telegram discussion we talked about transitioning in the fandom and how others may be able to be better allies and more. Join us for that conversation below.
“Always have fun. Don’t overthink it! Furry is for fun, and if you take it too seriously, you take away the fun! “
Kuhori! Thank you so much for joining me today! I know you from around the PNW and various events here as well as on Twitter, so it’s great to get to sit down with you and talk. Before we get started though, I have to ask.. How many fursuits DO you have now? 😛
Oh boy, my most asked question! Well, over my 8 plus years of suiting, I have worked hard and earned 16 fursuits. And I have one more on the way. Only 1 is retired, all others I wear as much as possible!
Well I’m jealous! I dream of the day I have that many! 😛
Does each suit have a different personality/character or other meaning to you?
It’s been a lot of hard work at my job to earn all these critters! I cherish them all deeply.
Yes, actually! I have many versions of my fursona, Kuhori. All of them are basicaly me. My other suits however all do have their own personalities and traits. Some of them a stem of myself, or completly their own thing. It is a lot of fun building up the characters as I wear them!
Well, I have a seen a few, and I think they are all awesome. It’s great when you are able to express yourself through a character and allow that character to grow with you. Which actually brings me to my next question.
Not long ago, you began the process of transitioning. You post frequently about the process and progress. How has that experience been for you so far?
It has been, amazing. Truly amazing. It has it’s downs, of course. But so far, I cannot really put into words how much my life has improved. My mental health is a million times better. I’m more motivated to take care of myself and my body. I’m closer to my husband. I could go on all day.
Getting started was, a rough road. Coming out was really hard, finding a therapist was hard, getting my HRT started was hard, but all of it was worth it. I would do it all again in a heartbeat.
It’s nice to hear that it’s been a (mostly) positive experience for you. I know that’s not always the case, which is quite sad. Do you think that transitioning in the fandom made it easier than perhaps those that don’t have a community they are already involved with?
That’s hard to say, as everyone has a different experience. I can say outside of furry, coming out was, extremely hard. My family did not take it well, and continue to not do so, a lot of them have cut ties with me.
If I didn’t have the fandom to help support me I don’t know where I’d be. I had a couple of negative interactions within the fandom, but in general everyone was so positive, and supportive. And continue to be!
I think having a strong and supportive community like furry is a great thing to have with something like this. Anyone LGBTQ+ is met with support and love here. Sure, there are some bad eggs, like anywhere in life, but mostly you will find the positivity you need. As well as others going through what you are and you can support one another.
I know as a gay man the experience has been mostly positive for me and I do often hear so many tout the inclusiveness of the fandom. It’s good to know that is extended to our trans brothers and sisters as well. Something that seems to be less common in “normal” gay culture unfortunately.
If you were to offer up any advice to a furry that is struggling with their own transition. What would you say?
Don’t be afraid to go to your friends for help. I know my biggest support system has of course been my husband, but also my fandom friends.
Not only that, but furry also can help you find others who are having the same issues, or in the same groups as you. I am part of a handful of Furry Trans Telegram chats and they are all very supportive and helpful when someone has a problem.
So finding those group chats, as well as turning to your supportive friends or loved ones are the best things you can do. Especially if you’re unsure where to start with transition, which is where I was in the beginning.
Are the telegram chats listed on the furry telegram groups site?
I am currently unsure, I found them all via twitter or friends, myself. I’m sure a couple of the bigger ones could be listed!
Editors note: You can search for available chat groups via the link at https://goodfurnews.com/find-your-furs/ via the Furry Telegram list.
Flipping the coin now..I myself earlier acknowledged my ignorance in some areas, even though I think I’m an ally to the trans community. What would be some Dos and Don’ts you’d personally give to those still learning about trans people and issues they face?
There are honestly a Ton of do’s and don’ts. Because all trans people are different. The best thing to do, is to ask them what pronouns, and terms they prefer. As well as names. Asking us questions to know what makes us comfortable is not a bad thing.
When someone comes out as trans, we understand you won’t be able to change pronouns and names overnight. But we generally just ask for effort. If you slip up and misgender, simply correct yourself and apologize, and then continue on. Or, if we correct you, don’t feel attacked or upset. Just apologize and continue on. Pronouns are very important to us, something that cisgendered people take for granted. Referring to us in our desired pronouns makes us feel good, and for me, more confident in myself. It takes time to learn on both sides, but you’ll get it over time!
Pretty much though, just show us respect. Correct mistakes, and treat us as the gender we identify as.
Some don’ts that I personally can say I have had experience with. Never tell a trans person you “liked them better as a girl/or boy”. It is extremely rude, and causes a lot of dysphoria. Don’t use slurs. They are degrading, and really just rude. Don’t ask us extremely personal questions unless you’re a very close friend. Even then, you should ask if it’s ok. And if we say we don’t want to answer, don’t press it. Also, while you feel you’re asking an innocent question, asking a trans person if their SO is “okay” with you transitioning is quite rude to both people involved.
Again, I could go on all day. I have my own experiences and others have theirs. The biggest thing is just be respectful. =]
That is all great advice, thank you for opening up and sharing this with us!
There’s obviously a lot of…angst within the trans community right now with our current administration and the decision to not allow trans members of our military to serve as well as other rights for trans people being attacked. Is there anything you’d like to say to your brothers and sisters, and our other readers, to help them through this?
The best advice I can give is be strong. Know that they cannot erase us. We exist, and we have ALWAYS existed. We won’t go anywhere. Do your best to educate people, and try to get people to help you in the fight for Trans rights. Our allies will help greatly. Do what you can to help the fight for our rights.
Stay close to your support systems, with each new attack on us, it hurts. Don’t be afraid to turn to someone if you feel afraid.
We can get through it!
Are there any resources you’d like to share for others that may need them?
Much of my own resources came from my therapist, however, one of the telegram chats I’m in has a great list of resources!
Thank you so much!
We’ve taken up so much of your time now, BUT, we have 1 last pressing question for you.
What is your favorite food?
I like a lot of foods! But if I had to pick, I love burritos! Or…chicken nuggets. Hahaha!
Yay! Any last words before we sign off?
Thank you guys for asking me to do this! It was great!
I’d like to just, generally thank the fandom as a whole for being so supportive to people like me. This fandom helped me gain the courage to come out and everything. And when things went south outside of the fandom I knew I had all of you to fall back on. This fandom is an amazing place!
Don’t stop being amazing! Much love!
We can’t express enough the importance of checking in on your trans friends and family right now. Additionally, one extra resource that we have experience with is TransLifeLine. “ Trans Lifeline is a national trans-led organization dedicated to improving the quality of trans lives by responding to the critical needs of our community with direct service, material support, advocacy, and education. Our vision is to fight the epidemic of trans suicide and improve overall life-outcomes of trans people by facilitating justice-oriented, collective community aid. “
Have your own experience you’d like to share? Other resources you want to put out there? Share them in the comments below.